beth ♥ (lookafteryou) wrote in omgnewsxwhore,
beth ♥

10 Cushy Jobs
Candace Corner, writer

Some people seem to have it so easy. While they're out enjoying a great job and earning an income doing it, you're slaving away and miserable at work. So what gives?

The answer lies in finding just the right job to fit your dreams and lifestyle.

In his book "100 Bulls* Jobs ... and How to Get Them," Fortune magazine columnist Stanley Bing (aka Gil Schwartz, humorist and executive vice president of communications at CBS Television) offers a list of various cushy career options. True to Bing's witty nature, this read explains the level of B.S. in each career and offers background on various cushy jobs -- everything from Aquarium Cleaner to "The Guy Who Says He'll Have Your Car Ready at Noon."

If you're interested in pursuing a career with a high level of B.S., here are a few of Bing's 100:

Cheese Artisan What they do: Craft cheese by traditional methods. What makes it cushy: The goal is to make high quality cheese art. Why it's not: Perfecting cheese-making by hand is time time-consuming and requires location commitment.

Professional Organizer What they do: Improve the organizational arrangements of closets, garages and other spaces for clients. What makes it cushy: It's a lucrative gig made easier with the variety of storage containers and organizational systems available in stores. Why it's not: Wealthy, pack-rat and picky clients with expansive, junk-filled estates or specific tastes may extend the length and labor of the job.

Aromatherapist What they do: Combine the knowledge of holistic medicinal methods and applications of suggested oils to create emotional and physical well-being. What makes it cushy: Getting paid to make people smell good and feel better. Why it's not: People may smell pretty funky to start with, and there's a lot to learn about the body, the oils and the applications

Pet Psychic What they do: Interpret the actions of pets to communicate the messages to their owners. What makes it cushy: Spending the day with pets to interpret issues like what makes them want to urinate in the living room. Why it's not: Sometimes the pets just don't want to communicate, which can make the process of trying a little chaotic.

Consultant What they do: Provide expert advice in an area of training, such as marketing or finance, for a specified time period. What makes it cushy: Working long enough to feel good about all of the problems they solved, and short enough to not have to worry about all of the new ones their solutions might cause. Why it's not: Workers feel threatened by the new changes, which could lead to backlash, or at the very least, ongoing alienation while consultants work with the company.

Food Critic What they do: Eat food dishes and review them in writing, based on their experience and expertise. What makes it cushy: Never going hungry and the chance to feel like their opinions really matter. Why it's not: The possibilities of having to take a few extra bites of something that isn't tasty to begin within order to write a complete review, and the build up of restaurants who will consider the food critic as the enemy after a bad review.

Handwriting Analyst What they do: Study handwriting works as a means for profiling human behavior and emotional developments What makes it cushy: The work varies, but you basically get paid to search for connections between people's personalities and feelings and how they slant their scribbles. Why it's not: There are a lot of different approaches in the analysis and there are not always definitive results for your clients.

Human Billboard What they do: Use the body as a canvas for advertising. What makes it cushy: Getting paid to sell space on something they already own. Why it's not: Depending on the client, the duration of the advertising, the campaign and the location of the advertisement (via forehead or elsewhere) human billboards may feel ridiculous.

Marriage Counselor What they do: Advise couples on how to take positive steps in handling their relationships. What makes it cushy: It is like being a couple's best friend who can see inside the relationship and offer advice, but counselors get paid and can avoid being forced to take sides. Why it's not: Things can get pretty intense when couples argue, and the most promising patients can be lost to the national divorce rate.

Motivational Speaker What they do: Lecture people in ways that inspire them to follow their goals. What makes it cushy: Talented talk, the right tone of voice and dedication to touring make motivation turn to money. Why it's not: It's a lot of work to try being continually upbeat, and people expect it all the time.
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